i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
