At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
the day after is always just damage control
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
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