I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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