So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
