I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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