I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
