He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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