Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
