so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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