Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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