On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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