Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize