could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
