the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
