with your own penis?
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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