I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
