This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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