angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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