Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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