I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
