i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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