people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
