We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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