so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
