Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
