I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I faked an abortion last night.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
