You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize