and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I got inside last night via doggy door
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
