That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
