I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
