I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
