is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
