I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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