he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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