you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
