Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize