tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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