If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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