Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
