$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
vagina is talking i cant
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
