so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
