she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
