That's intense
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
