Someone shit on the floor
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
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