i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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