Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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