Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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