I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Actions speak louder than pants.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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