your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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