i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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