the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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