that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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