So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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