i think my tv is drunk
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
