we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I wish you could order shots online.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
