Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
