You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
