I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
