Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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