your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Help me help you realize you are a moron
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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