I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
