; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
