Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
