omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize