I just cut my nipple shaving
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
