There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
