now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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