I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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